Famous Enneagram Eights: Margaret Thatcher and Donald Trump

WORLDVIEW: The powerful try to take advantage of the weak; I must change this.

EIGHTS pursue the truth, want situations under control, strive to make important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability.

Assertive, bold, and confident, Eights are highly independent, with a tendency to both protect and control people and events around them and a deep commitment to truth, justice, and equity or fairness. Most Eights are excessive in some way, particularly when they feel anxious or vulnerable. Because they strongly prefer to not show this side of themselves to others, perceiving such reactions as signaling weakness, Eights mask their tender side by engaging in excessiveness in a variety of forms: over-work, too much or too little exercise, erratic or unhealthy eating, and other forms of over-consumption such as incessant shopping or the purchasing of highly expensive items that they don’t really need.

Eights want to get their needs and desires met, want to make big things happen quickly, much akin to moving mountains, and most have a big presence even when they are saying little. Eights can also appear somewhat different from one another.  Some Eights are very quiet with a low threshold for frustration; other Eights are social rebels and protective of others to an extreme; and some Eights are highly emotional, extraordinarily passionate, and enjoy being center stage.

In the following YouTube segments, you will see short clips of two famous Eights: Margaret Thatcher and Donald Trump. These clips are excellent examples of the Eights’ interpersonal style. They assert themselves using a voice modulated for effect. For example, Thatcher uses a strident voice and commanding eye contact, while Trump uses an assertive, even aggressive, voice to stake out his command of the situation. In both tapes, Thatcher and Trump are seeking to redress an imbalance, settle a score, and take control through their comments and tone.

Remember: While we can all highly value truth-telling and pursue justice, want to make big things happen, and have issues with not appearing weak, for Eights the pursuit of control and justice, and the avoidance of vulnerability, is their primary, persistent, and driving motivation.

Margaret Thatcher- Click here to see clip
In this interview (though you wouldn’t know it’s an interview until half way through), Thatcher has something she clearly intends to say; watch how she responds when the interviewer tries to insert a question of his own. She clearly doesn’t like the queries, and she uses a variety of tactics to make sure she’s in-charge.

Donald Trump- Click here to see clip
Watch Trump talk about his battle with Rosie O’Donnell. In this sequence of short clips, notice the following: Trump’s extreme language in describing O’Donnell; his unabashed comments about facing a fight; and how he suggests that his comments are a reaction to her accusations that he was going bankrupt.

Coaching: Enneagram Heart Center Styles: Two, Three, and Four

The three Enneagram styles that emanate from the Heart Center of Intelligence, Twos, Threes, and Fours, create an image for others to relate to – an image of likeability, success, and uniqueness, respectively – and then become dependent on the reactions of others for their sense of value and worth. Here are the five most important developmental areas for each Heart Center style and a simple, profound question coaches can ask clients of this style. 



Key Development Desires for Twos

• To feel less exhausted and depleted
• To better help and serve others while also taking care of themselves
• To develop relationships in which they can truly count on others rather than ones in which they are the person others can count on
• To be able to say no and to express their real feelingswithout feeling guilty, anxious, or angry
• To be less dependent on the responses of others and more reliant on their own sense of real inner strength and solidity

One Simple Question: What do you really need; what are your deepest aspirations?
 
Key Development Desires for Threes

• To feel more successful without feeling the pressure of always having to prove themselves every time
• To have better, more meaningful, and longer-lasting relationships
• To be able to relax and just be, without feeling the need to constantly impress others
• To experience themselves  -- especially their true feelings -- at a deeper level
• To find out what they really want for themselves, apart from what they believe their goals should be based on their work or social context

One Simple Question: Aside from what you do, who are you deep down inside? 

Key Development Desires for Fours

• To know more about themselves at the deepest levels and then become more truly self-accepting
• To make lasting connections with others that can be sustained without having to constantly engage in deep, meaningful, and intense interactions
• To be less volatile, emotional, and reactive and more calm, balanced, and satisfied
• To feel more capable of making things happen and to manifest their dreams rather than feeling that things happen to them
• To take in positive and negative feedback using refined filters to sort out what is true and useful from that which is not

One Simple Question: When you go underneath your kaleidoscope of feelings, what do you find?

You can read my new Enneagram-coaching book, Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You Coach (McGraw-Hill 2009), for comprehensive and subtle coaching methods, approaches, and techniques that work best with individuals of each Enneagram style.

This is the second of a three-part series on coaching with the Enneagram.

Enneagram Styles and Being

This blog was inspired by Ruth Landis’s insights about Being. You can read about how each of us, based on our Enneagram styles, can be in a state of Being, which is really allowing us to be fully ourselves.

Whether you are a leader, coach, consultant, trainer, parent, or friend, Being enables us to handle everything that comes our way with grace, dignity, and wisdom. Ruth Landis, Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network at TheEnneagramInBusiness.com offers the following Being activity.

Being Insights

Life begins in the stillness. Our real value rests in each breath we take and merely that we are alive.  All else builds upon that. Each hour during the day, can you pause for a moment and become still- still in the mind, still in the body, and still in the heart?  What do you have to shift in yourself to find that stillness?  Once you have found it, can you appreciate that this is enough?  Can you appreciate that everything you need to be is already here?

Being and Enneagram Styles
I’ve added the following to help us understand how our Enneagram styles can block our capacity to be in Being and how we can allow ourselves to be in Being.

Enneagram Style One
An Obstacle to Being: Controlling or structuring themselves and their environments so tightly for fear of making mistakes
How to Be in a State of Being: Give your discerning mind a rest, your opinions a vacation, your need to structure your life a temporary hiatus, and your continuous self-control a time to relax. Experiment with this for 30 minutes each day. This is Being in the now.

Enneagram Style Two
An Obstacle to Being: Getting out of touch with their inner lives without even realizing this, a result of focusing so much on other people
How to Be in a State of Being: Take real time for you. Allow yourself a minimum of one hour every week to do nothing but be with yourself with no other distractions, including other people, tasks, or things to do. Take a walk, watch a wonderful film, get a message, or enjoy your pet. As you do any of these things, be in the present moment at all times and experience what the present moment offers.

Enneagram Style Three
An Obstacle to Being: Being over-identified with socially acceptable goals rather than personal dreams and personal goals; intermixing who they are with what they do so extensively that they no longer know who they are
How to Be in a State of Being: Do you know the difference between Being and Doing? Most Threes find this question very confusing. That should be your clue that there is something profound in this question. Ask five people you know what Being is. Listen closely, ask questions, and see if there is some insight for you in their responses. Something that will help you start to be in Being rather than Doing is to be still for five minutes each day, doing absolutely nothing. Once you can do this, extend the time by five minutes each day. Remember that you can’t do Being; you have to be Being.

Enneagram Style Four
An Obstacle to Being: Confusing intense feelings for a state of Being
How to Be in a State of Being: Although you may feel most yourself when you experience intense feelings – this feels like being you to you – the state of being is less full of intensity and more filled with lightness. In a deeper state of being, there is a sense that the you who you know falls away and gives space for a profound quality of calm and balance. Think of this as being completely in the now. When your attention goes to the past, bring it back to now, and when your attention goes to the future, bring yourself back to the present, the now.

Enneagram Style Five
An Obstacle to Being: Relying so heavily on mental functioning without fully accessing or integrating the Heart Center and Body Centers
How to Be in a State of Being: Being requires integration; integration includes accessing and using your Head and Heart and Body. Being then requires full engagement, starting with yourself, then moving toward others. So start with more fully accessing either your emotions – ask yourself every hour what you are feeling and explore these emotions – or your body. Think of the latter as becoming more aware of and fully understanding your physical sensations, cues and gut-knowing. Once you more fully integrate your Three Centers of Intelligence, engage them on an ongoing basis.

Enneagram Style Six
An Obstacle to Being: Fretting, worrying, anticipating, preparing and other mental activities that distract from Being
How to Be in a State of Being: Most Sixes can’t command themselves to stop thinking, but they often find that grounding themselves in the Body Center helps dramatically. Risky physical activities that adrenalize you won’t ground you – they excite you – but walking, jogging, yoga, and other exercise will as long as you put your thinking aside when you are engaging in physical activity. Your physical groundedness then calms your mind and relaxes your emotional reactivity; this is fertile soil for Being.

Enneagram Style Seven
An Obstacle to Being: Needing chronic stimulation and activity, including constant physical movement
How to Be in a State of Being: To be in Being requires going inward, being still and focused, and this requires a dramatic shift in focus from you. The focus needs to be an inner one of physical, mental and emotional stillness. The key to this for you is to allow your emotions to reveal themselves to you and to explore them fully. Once you are able to do this – and it will take commitment, courage, and concentration – your mind will be more easily focused, your body will relax and less agitated, and you will be able to move far easily to Being, which is really about total focus on the present, the now.

Enneagram Style Eight
An Obstacle to Being: Being unwilling or unable to be vulnerable
How to Be in a State of Being: Being is a receptive state rather than an aggressive state. As a result, you’ll need to truly examine your need to move forward in big ways and understand your vulnerable feelings that lie beneath and are masked by the big action.  Remember that Being is not inactive; it involves totally receptivity to everything.

Enneagram Style Nine
An Obstacle to Being: Confusing blending and merging for Being
How to Be in a State of Being: It is easy and seductive to confuse blending or merging with Being. However, blending and merging are fused states in which there is no you present, only that which you are merging with. To be in Being, you have to be fully present or awake. To do this, you have to pay attention to your self and acknowledge how you feel, what you think, and what you really want.

Coaching: Enneagram Head Center Styles: Five, Six, and Seven

The three Enneagram styles that emanate from the Head Center of Intelligence, Fives, Sixes, and Sevens, each have a strategic response to the emotion of fear. Fives move away and retreat; Sixes anticipate, worry, and plan for possible negative contingencies; and Sevens avoid feeling afraid by engaging in something exciting, thinking about future possibilities, and reframing negative experiences into positive ones. Here are the five most important developmental areas for each Head Center style and a simple, profound question coaches can ask clients of this style.



Key Development Desires for Fives

• To truly know themselves better using a systematic framework
• To better understand and anticipate the feelings of others
• To feel more comfortable and have more predictability when interacting with others
• To be better acknowledged in the organization for their talents and skills
• To experience and honor their feelings as much as they respect their thoughts

One Simple Question: What happens when you stop hiding (or retreating) and start showing yourself and being fully present?

Key Development Desires for Sixes

• To feel more secure, certain, and confident
• To be less reactive and more in control of themselves
• To be able to truly believe in themselves and others to make good decisions and to effectively take care of situations
• To not have to hide their anxieties, which includes not feeling anxious so frequently, thus having less of a need to hide their reactions
• To be able to take conscious, deliberate, and effective action

One Simple Question: What happens when you stop worrying, planning or lurching forward and start relaxing and enjoying yourself: “free as a bird?”

Key Development Desires for Sevens

• To learn something exciting and personally beneficial
• To read others better and develop deeper and more consistent empathy
• To transform their ideas into reality
• To be taken more seriously by others
• To feel more complete as a person

One Simple Question: What happens when you stop spinning, twirling, and thinking and start focusing and facing all of reality: the painful or difficult as well as the pleasurable and enjoyable?

You can read my new Enneagram-coaching book, Bringing Out the Best in Everyone you Coach (McGraw-Hill 2009), for comprehensive and subtle coaching methods, approaches, and techniques that work best with individuals of each Enneagram style.

This is the first of a three-part series on coaching with the Enneagram.