Somatic Advice for Threes | a guest blog by Peter O'Hanrahan

Threes have such great, go-forward energy. In the study that Dr. David Daniels cites, on nine innate temperaments in small children (Thomas & Chess, 1977), Threes were likely the kids who had the most kinetic energy. They were born "on the go." There's much to admire about this, after all, who else can stay so active, busy and productive? Yet like any strength this can become a problem if it's overdone. When in constant activity, Threes easily lose touch with their physical needs and their emotions. Who has the time to rest or to feel?

The irony is that Threes are very much "feeling types" of the Enneagram. But they need to come out of the closet. The danger is that emotional energy builds up in the chest, the lid goes on, and now there is pressure around the heart. This fits the description of Type A people, or "workaholics", which was discovered at the UC Medical Center in San Francisco in the late 1960's. Actually it's the first time that something like our Enneagram type Three showed up in the literature of modern psychology: successful, well adapted people, who none the less were having early onset heart troubles. (Of course not all Threes have heart problems, and we know a lot more about self-care these days).

The point is that Threes can put their health at risk over time by not relaxing and de-stressing. They miss out on the life of the body. And with their sensitivity to other people's expectations and approval they can lose touch with themselves.

Threes often say that they feel they are living in, or inhabiting, the space in front of their bodies. It all happens "out there" in the service of task and image. The big work for Threes is to make the inward turn, to come inside themselves and begin to feel their feelings and personal needs, to make space for the big questions of "who am I, what is my true purpose?" etc. This is a somatic process, meaning there has to be a shift towards body awareness, as feelings are felt in the body!

What does it take to become more grounded in the body, and more in tune with the rhythms of activity and rest? What I observe is that Threes have a pattern of holding in their chest. Right underneath this layer there are plenty of feelings and sensations to be discovered. These may be overwhelming at times. But with practice and acceptance, it's possible to open up an inner space and create an inner dialog that brings Threes into more authentic contact with themselves.

If you are a type Three, sitting still is probably hard for you, but a little bit of mindfulness and breath practice goes a long way. The full-on energy can feel good a lot of the time (even a bit addictive). But why not enjoy life all along the way? Get familiar with sensing that surge of forward moving energy and practice a pause before moving into action. Take a few moments to breath into the belly and slow down your internal pace. You don't need to go "full speed ahead" to accomplish everything. Much of life can be lived at 90% or even 80%. Actually, this is more efficient!

Physical exercise is good, but it's not the same as consciously breathing in and down, sensing the life force, and befriending the instinctual energies. Patience with all of this is vital, as is personal support. When feelings come up, it's good to have a friend to talk to - a friend of your inner work - someone who appreciates who you are, not just what you can do.

Your somatic pattern is supported by the idealization and avoidance of your type: "I have to be successful and avoid failure," in so far as this creates pressure inside your body. The task is to expand "success" to include relaxation and balance, and live a long and healthy life. That's good for you, and good for the people who love you.

Peter O’Hanrahan is an Enneagram teacher, body therapist, business consultant, and Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network (EIBN) who teaches internationally and also works closely with the Enneagram Worldwide and the Palmer/Daniels Enneagram Professional Training Program. You can visit his website at EnneagramWork.com | POhanrahan@aol.com

Romney Revisited

This blog could also be titled, “You Get What You Ask For.” I follow politics to a degree, and I certainly did in the last presidential election. During that period, I guessed that Mitt Romney was an Enneagram type 3 (self-preservation subtype) for a number of reasons. Clearly ambitious, playing to his audience (saying different things to different groups), changing what he said he stood for over the years based on public opinion, and looking like he was born to be successful.

Now, I am not so sure. Recently I was in Portland, Oregon doing consulting for Salesforce.com, and my dear friend and colleague, Matt Ahrens, told me a man in the hotel elevator had told him Mitt and Ann Romney were seen walking into a nearby hotel. I literally told Matt, “I wish I could have seen them.” My reason was that I simply get a better sense of a person’s type when I actually experience them and interact with them in some way.

The next day at the airport, guess who was directly in front of me as we went through security? Ann Romney was directly in front of me, and in front of her was Mitt. What I experienced was not at all what I expected.

About Ann
She is very tall (5’8”+) and very slim, with a trim and toned body that should look great in any clothing she wears. She also has a full head of gorgeous hair sans any hair spray, and her makeup was there but minimal. She stands very tall, appears quite elegant, and seemed to be fully in her body. I also had a face-to-face non-verbal interaction with her, where I smiled and she was not warm, but instead, very cool and aloof.

When I saw her on television or in photos during the election, she did not appear this way at all. Her hair was teased and hair sprayed, her clothing often looked ill fitting, and I had the impression that she was slightly overweight with a somewhat slumped body posture. In person, she could not have been more different. What was this?

I had guessed her as a type 2, but after experiencing her, I am wondering if she might not be a type 1 with a 2 wing. Her full-bodied energy, her elegant stature, an almost perfect casual dress style, and her lack of warmth made me wonder if she might not be a 1 with a 2 wing (one-to-one) who played “good wife” for the cameras.

About Mitt
My friend and sister Enneagram teacher, Judith Searle, has always thought Mitt Romney was a 5 (a one-to-one), and I have to now agree she might be right. Being a type 1, Judith is often right, but I hadn’t thought so in this case until I actually saw him in person and, more importantly, how he interacted with others, including Ann and the security guard looking at tickets and photo IDs.

Although he was directly in front of Ann, they had almost no interaction, which I will describe in a moment. Energetically, he has zero energy emanating from his body, and some energy from his head. Although the statistics on him say he is 6’2” tall, I saw him standing right next to Ann, and he appears only three or so inches taller than she. His body frame is more than slim and trim; he is almost skinny with very, very small shoulders.

His interactions consisted of making a series of awkward jokes with the security guard that were not particularly amusing, and here’s when it became a bit strange. When he went to the conveyer belt, he pointed in that direction to Ann, as in “I’m over here.” However, she did not follow him and instead used a separate line. This did not seem very Two-like (not really One-like, either) and certainly not very couple-like. I can’t remember a time when I (or anyone I know) came to the airport with another person with whom they were travelling with and used a separate line for the conveyer belt.

In general, he did not seem interpersonal in any sense I could see, hear, or feel. I know many, many Threes of all subtypes and have never seen one so interpersonally disconnected. So I am wondering if my friend Judith was right after all.

In sum, could Mitt be a 5 and Ann be a 1? But in a bigger sense, how can we really be certain that a public figure is one type and not another?

Nature and the Enneagram | an Insight Activity by Catherine Bell

Recently, I got to spend time with Brian and Dee Keating discussing a travel bucket list. Brian is a nature conservationist (click here for information, and some amazing videos). During our discussion, I posed the following questions of them:

Question | What is the most important issue facing our planet?
Brian and Dee | The most important issue facing the planet they felt was our need for clean water, and the fact the majority of water is unusable to us. Roughly 1% of the world’s water is potable.
Catherine | To me, water represents going with the flow of life and the source of life! We are mainly composed of water. It is vital for our existence. As well, water moves in the path of least resistance, and has the ability to wear stones out. Water can also take the form of liquid, solid, to a vapour, which speaks to me of metamorphosis and recycling. How can we grow and change, and recycle more naturally?

Question | What can we learn from nature?
Dee and Brian felt that our ability to be in the here and now, not in the busy-ness of our lives, is a key learning from nature. They commented how we often run around without really being present to the nature around us, whether it be a sparrow, a squirrel, or a blade of grass. I found this profound. How many things do we not really experience that are really amazing?

Here are some questions for all of us to consider:
How can we take this knowledge into business?
How can we be more like water and nature?
How can we apply this to the Enneagram?

Ginger’s Blog
How to write an Enneagram blog related to nature and the Enneagram. If I were a 7, perhaps I might see an instant connection, but I don’t. But since I also believe the Enneagram really is and can be a “map of everything,” here it goes! I will take the Enneagram as a map, explaining what motivates people of each Enneagram style to be conscious of and engage in conserving our planet.

Enneagram Ones | From the One perspective, respecting our planet is simply the right thing to do. They have a point here, for if our planet’s resources dry up or deteriorate, what is left for all living things?

Enneagram Twos | From the Two perspective, respecting and saving our planet is good for all people. Whether people live in small communities or urban centers, we are all dependent on one another for preserving our resources. Pollution in India migrates far beyond India’s borders. To not be conscious of our impact on others is to be self-oriented.

Enneagram Threes | From the Three perspective, it is important to conserve for future generations. Why? Because they may plan to have children, grandchildren, and so forth. This is the natural generational flow.

Enneagram Fours | From the Four perspective, honoring and respecting the planet is fundamental to our deep connectedness, to the earth, water, air, and one another. In a sense, we are all part of everything, and everything is interconnected.

Enneagram Fives | From the Five perspective, certain issues or causes are worth energy-expenditure, and conserving our planet is among them. After all, conserving resources, including their own, is fundamental to our survival.

Enneagram Sixes | From the Six perspective, our entire planet cannot survive unless we take action to stop the negative impact we have on our environment. While there are a multitude of scenarios about what will happen if we do not, none of them are positive ones.

Enneagram Sevens | From the Seven perspective, there is something we can do to honor and utilize our planetary resources in a far better way. All we need to do is to think of innovative was to do this.

Enneagram Eights | From the Eight perspective, there is a serious environmental problem, one that requires big action, not incremental steps. And this action must happen now!

Enneagram Nines | From the Nine perspective, what affects one of us affects all of us, and in our basic natures, we need to be aligned with rather than ravage our planetary resources. If we just put our collective hearts and minds together, we will know the right action to take.

Somatic Advice for Twos | a guest blog by Peter O'Hanrahan

Twos have this wonderful quality: the invitation to connect that is communicated through their facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. I try my best to meet them but am often a bit clumsy in my response. They are clearly more adept in this relational space, which comes with a tangible feeling and energy. When a good connection is made, all is well. But if I don't respond positively, or meet their expectations, there are problems.

People may feel a pressure to be nice, to give approval, with a subtext of "It's not OK to say anything critical or disagreeable." Or there is the pressure of some need or emotion that we can't read. On the one hand, there is such great heart energy (thank you so much for this Twos, we need more of this in the world); on the other hand, when the response is lacking or not approving, Twos are not happy campers. And we get the message from their body language and tone!

Twos are the masters of feeling tones expressed through the voice, providing warmth and care, but also capable of evoking confusion or guilt. Sometimes I experience being drawn into close rapport only to be hit with something I was not expecting. Things get complicated quickly. A related issue is "projective identification," which means taking what someone said and responding with one's own emotions, while attributing these to the other person. Or amplifying something small far beyond what the other person feels. What's going on here? Are those my feelings or yours?

Twos have so much empathy that other people's moods, needs, or disapproval can go right into their bodies and take over their breathing and their internal state. They have lots (lots!) more mirror neurons than your average human being. Such a great resource, yet it puts Twos at risk for being "outside" their own bodies.

Twos who are on the path understand that it's vitally important to come home to themselves. Staying away from people may be necessary at times, but it's a temporary solution. The real challenge is to be in contact with the other person and yourself at the same time. So how to do this?

It's easy to say, hard to do: you must practice sensing your body and take charge of your own inner experience. Notice when you have matched the other person's state, let it go and breathe for yourself. You may also tend to collect energy and breath only into your upper body. So take deep breaths in the belly or use the counter anxiety technique (big inhale, stretch the diaphragm, and let out the exhale slowly through pursed lips). Pull your attention in and down, sense your feet on the floor. Ask yourself this: What is my true feeling versus what have I taken in from the other? You may find it helpful to visualize a boundary between you and the other person, such as a rose (or a green hedge). This doesn't break the connection but the rose will absorb and slow down incoming energy.

Practice saying no, assert a need, or simply withdraw attention from the other. You may feel guilty, but you'll get over it. Having limits and boundaries is important for you and also good for us (although we may complain in the short run). Graceful boundaries, rather than prideful (reactive) boundaries, come when you are securely grounded in your own body.

And because you are a feeling type, find ways to let your feelings out. Express thyself! Sing, dance, laugh, cry and yell. But self start; don't wait until you are really upset with us or over the top exhausted.

The somatic pattern for Twos is enforced by the idealization and avoidance: "I have to be helpful while putting my own needs away." But as you find your inner value and grounded presence, relationships will become more authentic. You will know you, and we will know you, in a deeper way.

Peter O’Hanrahan is an Enneagram teacher, body therapist, business consultant, and Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network (EIBN) who teaches internationally and also works closely with the Enneagram Worldwide and the Palmer/Daniels Enneagram Professional Training Program. You can visit his website at EnneagramWork.com | POhanrahan@aol.com

Somatic Advice for Ones | a guest blog by Peter O’Hanrahan

When I meet Ones, I am struck by their intentional goodness and how this organizes their body language and posture. Being good includes being orderly and self-disciplined. I respect their self-control and yet, I worry about how much effort this takes. Relaxation is not their default position, although they can certainly get there at times. But when the pressure is on, and it's often on, their bodies reveal lots of tension, particularly in the diaphragm and the jaw. This is a universal somatic pattern but it's most common for Ones. If you want to control yourself, don't give way to the spontaneous movement of the breath (it will bring up feelings) and keep that jaw tightly shut (so you won't say the wrong thing).

For some Ones being good means being very nice to people, even at the expense of their own feelings. The danger here is a disconnect from what they feel or sense in their gut center. Where does the anger and resentment go? Well, it goes into physical tension.

For other Ones, being good shows up as in a rather formidable quality of rightness, or even righteousness, with a critical or angry look in the face. The left eyebrow rises up while the eyes narrow in judgment; the lips are pressed together. Dear Ones, don't let your face get stuck this way! It's not your most attractive self, and it's scary to small children (and sometimes adults).

So what to do? It's all about relaxation. But sometimes we can't relax until there is some expression, or discharge, of what's going on inside. How about stomping around or yelling occasionally - but not at anyone! Don't wait for a reason to make it personal. Try shaking out with your hands, arms and shoulders. Legs and hips, too! Yes, you will look spastic temporarily, but it's the right thing to do! If you really want to work out that jaw tension, practice biting on a towel - like a dog. And by the way, with a towel in your mouth, you can yell, scream and howl without disturbing the neighbors or even the people in the next room. Let it out!

These kinds of loosening and expressive exercises are different from the kind of controlled physical exercises that are good for health but may not address the basic holding patterns. Maybe you can let your jaw hang loose when you are running. Or, you can sigh and let out a big exhale during those yoga stretches. Some Ones find that singing is a good way to relax the mouth and throat and give the diaphragm a workout - after which relaxation comes naturally.

The somatic pattern for Ones is enforced by the psychic pattern of the idealization and avoidance – I have to be right, I can't allow myself to be wrong. What you can do is make a bigger space for rightness, one that allows for the inherent goodness and pleasure of the body. Be good to yourself, knock off the constant self-criticism, and take more space for breath and relaxation.

Peter O’Hanrahan is an Enneagram teacher, body therapist, business consultant, and Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network (EIBN) who teaches internationally and also works closely with the Enneagram Worldwide and the Palmer/Daniels Enneagram Professional Training Program. You can visit his website at EnneagramWork.com | POhanrahan@aol.com

Somatics and the Enneagram | an Interview with Peter O’Hanrahan

The more I work with people with the Enneagram and development, the more I have concluded that bodywork and somatics is the most underemphasized and a missing core ingredient in our development psychologically and spiritually. I have also noticed that many people shy away from working with the physical aspects of their character structure.

So I decided to go to my “go-to” person on somatics and the Enneagram (really, on just about everything Enneagram) and try to persuade him to let me interview him on the topic and to write a 9-blog series on the subject, one blog for each enneatype. Peter said yes, so this is the starting interview:

Ginger | Tell me about your background, particularly as it relates to the Enneagram and also to somatics and bodywork. What is the best word to use when describing this?
Peter | The most descriptive terms are somatics, bodywork and the body-based therapies. As for my background, I came to California from Maryland in the mid 1970s to study body therapy and holistic psychological and spiritual work. California was really where much of the cutting edge work was happening (and maybe still is). Then 3 years after I came, I heard about the Enneagram and began my study of it, and it was natural to relate the Enneagram to all the body therapy I was doing.

Then and now, the Enneagram allows me to tailor bodywork to the specific person and their type issues. To know the types from the perspective of 3 Centers of Intelligence is incredibly useful, important, and necessary!

I knew Helen Palmer as a teacher of intuition and the Enneagram and she suggested I learn more about it. The 1^st public Enneagram class in Berkeley opened in 1978 and was taught by Kathleen Speeth, PhD who had worked closely with Claudio Naranjo in his SAT program. This led to 8 years of study with Dr. Speeth at the same time as I studied with Helen. I started my 1^st Enneagram study group in 1981 and soon after started leading panel classes in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Ginger | What is the role of somatics and bodywork in our development?
Peter | If we draw on Gurdjieff’s model of the 4^th way, we can and need to use methods or approaches that utilize all 3 of our Centers: mind, emotions, and the body. This is the only way we fully develop. Being present in our Body Center helps us be grounded and healthy. But also, the type structures are seated in the body; these structures are actually neurobiological patterns: feeling, sensing, our nervous system, and our emotions. Although we like to consider ourselves rational beings, much of our lives comes directly from our emotions and instincts. Emotions are part of our physical experience. The Emotional Center and Body Center have a much longer history in our evolution as human beings than our Mental Center. And in childhood, long before there’s a cognitive structure to sustain a coherent point of view (at age 5-7), we are already developing emotionally and instinctually and, in this way, developing a sense of self. In these early years, our sense of self is formed not so much by our minds, but by our other functions: emotional and instinctual.

Ginger | How are somatics related to the Enneagram types and development of type?
Peter | Each type has a different somatic pattern; there are habits of mind and emotion for each enneatype, but also somatic (body) patterns. Not every person of the same type fits the patterns exactly, but they are useful generalizations.

I learned these over years of working with people in my private practice as a body therapist, and also in the groups I led. To be effective as a body therapist, you have to make your approach aligned with the person’s character structure and their emergent evolution. Type is not only about personality; it’s about character structure and this understanding is essential. Character structure is deeper and more pervasive, akin to a person’s core architecture. As therapists or body-therapists, we have to adapt our method to the different structures because not everyone responds to a given approach, no matter how good it is. Adaptation matters. For example, I have to approach Eights very differently from Fives. Their patterns of tension and “holding” are very different.

People can develop only so far without doing the somatic work, so if you are serious about spiritual and psychological work, somatic work is essential.

Disembodied spirituality is a serious problem. You can access certain states but they are not integrated in daily life. Non-integrated people can be quite immature personally and not so good in relationships because they are only partially developed. In a monastery, maybe this works – that is, if you are solitary and don’t have to relate to others so much – but not in the regular world. Our unworked parts, the parts we seal off by escaping into spirituality – this is also called a “spiritual bypass” – are put into the unconscious or shadow. When people do this, the shadow roars back with a vengeance, and the shadow resides or lives in the body.

Ginger | Why do you think people (or at least this is my impression) avoid the body piece of the development work we do?
Peter | In our culture the body is often held in the shadow because it's where we might experience physical limitation and painful emotions. People don’t want to feel the scary stuff and they lack support to do this. Instead, the body becomes objectified. People in our culture are so externally oriented, they want to stay on the go, so they avoid slowing down to be present to their internal emotions and sensations.

Ginger | What 3 words of somatic advice do you have for all of us?
Peter | Well my main advice would be: notice when you are holding your breath. Breathe fully. This unlocks everything. This is how we learn to feel our feelings and physical sensations, which opens the door to deep change in our type structure.

Peter O’Hanrahan is an Enneagram teacher, body therapist, business consultant, and Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network (EIBN) who teaches internationally and also works closely with the Enneagram Worldwide and the Palmer/Daniels Enneagram Professional Training Program. You can visit his website at EnneagramWork.com | POhanrahan@aol.com

Leadership "Practices"

This is a picture of an Inuksuk. The Inuksuk in Canada can represent leadership, cooperation, human spirit, or be a guidepost of a special symbolic location. This month, let’s explore some daily routines or practices that help us be more whole as leaders, embodying the different layers of leadership. For some, "more" whole can mean more balanced; for others, it means showing up a little more fully.

As a Social Eight, my (Catherine Bell’s) energy has a natural outward flow, and through knowing the Enneagram, I can, on occasion, catch myself in the act of being too aggressive, having feelings of rejection, or pulling away to think things through. A number of weeks ago, I started the Presence Process by Michael Brown. One of the processes is two 15-minute meditations where the breath is synchronized with saying, I am here in this. Since starting the process, I have been deeper in my body and, as a result, more real to who I am. I asked Dick Schulte, an EIBN (Enneagram in Business Network) Associate Member and coach about the processes or practices he uses in coaching and in his work with teams to allow authenticity and transformation to bubble up and bubble down.

Here’s what Dick said:

“Much of the work I do with leaders to catalyze authenticity and transformation centers on assisting them in understanding how their behaviors impact others in the workplace. The Enneagram is the perfect place to begin because it creates a platform for clarity around self and behaviors that can hinder performance, which can lead to a genuine desire to improve as a leader. The question for the leader(s) then becomes, what does authenticity look like for me? And, how can I show up with my best self at work so I can be more effective? We then focus them on shifting out of non-productive or 'being right' behaviors they may be engaged in at times to authentic ones. Such as:

Being Right Behaviors                                         Authentic Behaviors

Blaming and complaining to…                            Taking 100% responsibility for themselves
Concealing to…                                                      Candor and revealing
Notoriety to…                                                        Appreciation and gratitude
Defensiveness and withdrawal to…                   Courageous collaboration
Comparison and power to…                                Acceptance and empowerment
Being smart or clever to…                                    Seeking knowledge and wisdom
Resentment and vengeance to…                        Forgiveness and setting boundaries

From a practice perspective, we ask leaders to then employ a mantra that fits for their particular behavior(s) when they catch themselves (or get caught!) in 'being right:' These mantras can sound something like this:

I am grounded and resilient.
I get the job done.
I am an enthusiastic motivator.
I am patient with others and myself.
I appreciate others’ gifts and perspectives.
I take myself lightly.
I trust others to take care of themselves.
I nurture myself.
I choose to collaborate.
I choose to be curious and open.

For leaders, recognizing what authenticity looks like for them, committing to making a positive shift over time and employing a mantra to support their work IS the act of transformation. It begins the process of becoming more human and more effective in their leadership roles.”

What practices and processes would you recommend to individuals of the three different instincts (Head, Heart, and Body)?

What would you recommend as different leadership practices to different Enneagram Types?

What different layers of leadership do you witness in yourself?

Ginger’s Blog
To get you started on practices for each Center of Intelligence (based on the three instincts), you can read about and, hopefully, practice some of these ideas, all of which involve accessing more of a center that is not your "home base."

Head Center Styles | Five, Six, and Seven
Access your Heart Center
Because all three of the Head Center Enneagram styles overwork their mental function (Head Center), trying to use their Head Centers to increase their ability for leadership, cooperation, and increasing the energy of the human spirit is not necessarily going to lead them in this direction. Another way of saying this is that the Head Center is not the starting point for them.

Instead, use your breath to fill your Heart Center with spaciousness and energy by simply breathing fully into your heart chamber, filling it completely and expanding it, holding your breath there for five seconds, and then gradually exhaling. Do five heart-breath inhales five times per day. This is best done when you are sitting or standing rather than walking or moving around. Repeat this practice daily. 

Heart Center Styles | Two, Three, and Four
Access your Body Center
Because all three of the Heart Center Enneagram styles tend to use their heart function (Heart Center) in limited ways, trying to use their Heart Centers to increase their ability for leadership, cooperation, and increasing the energy of the human spirit is not necessarily going to lead them in this direction. Another way of saying this is that the Heart Center is not the starting point for them.

Instead, it is better to increase access to your Body Center because this will allow you to become more integrated in every way. The body is a gateway to integrating your head, heart, and body. An interesting and enjoyable way to do this is through music that you really like and is not too loud or electric. Find music you love, then listen to it and allow the music to fill all of your body. Engage the sounds, breathe it in, and let the music vibrations vibrate throughout your body. Do this two times per day on a daily basis, changing the music as you prefer.

Body Center Styles | Eight, Nine, and One
Access your Mental Center
Because all three of the Body Center Enneagram styles over-rely on their body function (Body Center) when they also need to be accessing their other Centers of Intelligence, and as a result, using their Body Center to increase their ability for leadership, cooperation, and increasing the energy of the human spirit is not necessarily going to lead them in this direction. Another way of saying this is that the Body Center is not the starting point for them.

Instead, it is better to gain more access to their Mental Centers in a clear and unobstructed way. To do this, first breathe fully into your Mental Center and hold your breath there for three seconds. Do this three times in a row. Next, select one of the mantras – from Dick Schulte’s list above – that you most like and say that to yourself three times, either out loud or in your mind. Say this same mantra to yourself three times and say it in a way that you actually believe it. Do this activity three times per day. You can also make up your own mantra if you prefer.